The Ronald McDonald Scandal


The Ronald McDonald Scandal

Believe it or not, Ronald McDonald does get some action from time to time. What with his flaming, thick mane and his luscious, red lips, the ladies just can’t seem to get enough of him.

Jealous much, guys? hahaha…

It might come as a shock to you, but some people do exhibit these kinds of behavior towards inanimate objects in a not so shallow way as to be funny or playful. What does that mean? It means that they have “intimate relationships” with inanimate objects. By “intimate” I mean love and sex — yes, love and sex. Just like the kind of emotional connection shared by two human beings, objectum sexuals (that’s what those people are called) experience a deep sense of love and/or sexual attraction towards objects. By “objects” I mean…

fences…

amusement park rides (the Condor in Enchanted Kingdom, for example)…

dolls…

cars…

walls (e.g. the Berlin Wall)…

and structures (e.g. the Eiffel Tower), just to name a few.

For OS people, close emotional relationships with humans are incomprehensible, if not absurd.  In other words, they think it’s perfectly normal to prefer objects over humans. Talk about strange, right? This kind of disorder is called objectophilia or objectum sexuality. Although, I assume that they would feel slighted by being labeled as a “disorder.” And they absolutely believe that their fixation towards objects is not just a mere fetish.

So you might think “Hey, I’m having sexual relationships with my dildo. Does that count as objectophilia?” Well, not necessarily. You see, objectum sexuals believe that the intimacy goes beyond physical attraction. They love a certain object to the extent that they want it as their mate and eventually take the relationship to the next level — marriage, perhaps. Yep, just like any normal human couple would do once they decide to be exclusive for the time being or for the rest of their lives. That kind bond, love, loyalty and sexual intimacy happens to objectum sexuals as well. The only difference is that the object of their affection is an object — obviously. So when you say “you’re having sex with your dildo,” that’s just a passing thrill, a momentary fulfillment of your sexual cravings. Objectum sexuals feel much more than that. Allow me to show you.

Objectum sexuals make homosexuals, transsexuals, pansexuals, and Bebe Gandanghari look like normal folks, don’t you think?

nyahahahahahaha…

So if you feel called to this new type of sexual orientation, by all means explore it. Visit http://www.objectum-sexuality.org for more information or you can also go to http://www.ppa.ph.

One response to “The Ronald McDonald Scandal

  1. that was a funny scandal

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