Category Archives: All That Shit

Bakit Ang Bobo Ng Mga Katulong?


Bakit Ang Bobo Ng Mga Katulong?

Rason ba na sila’y hindi nakapagtapos ng pag-aaral? Ano ang koneksyon ng edukasyon para gampanan ang mga simpleng gawing-bahay? O sadyang bobo lang talaga sila?
Rason ba ang language barrier ? Eh bakit pa sila lumuwas ng Maynila kung hindi nila kaya umintindi ng Tagalog? Mga bobo kasi!

Sa panahon ngayon, ang amo na ang kailangang makisama sa mga katulong; ang kailangang sumuyo para wag lang layasan. Lintik! Nahawa na rin ang mga amo sa kabobohan!

Vicky Belo: Entries For Vagina Machine-naming Contest


Vicky Belo: Entries For Vagina Machine-naming Contest

“Just got a new machine at belo medical group. It tightens Vajayjay and prevents trickling. It uses only magnets. Need a name for it help!” Belo posted on her Twitter.

People suggested:

V-Tight

Like A Virgin

Vagnet

Happy Tight

VATIGHTNA

Vagneto

SIKIPEX

V-Shut Bacani (sacrilegious, but melikes!)

GyneTight

tightenator

Magnetite

TightenKho (aylavet! hahaha)

VAGINA HALILI (to add more injury to insult)

Vagina Magdayao (dahil nag-lock ang vagina ni Shaina noong nagsesex sila ni John Lloyd…haha)

Pukiput

V-Fresh

Triple V Express

Hymen Kho

Keps for Keeps

Sikip Silip

The Revirginizer

Belopian Tube

Close Open Close Open

Makahiya Treatment

Pampasikeps

VIAGRIP

flower arrangement

Revirginizer

The doctor posted, “1st winner of 5 THOU Belo GCs is @airaaavi with her entry: V-Tight ! @belobeauty will get in touch with you. CONGRATULATIONS!”

Ang Mga Pecpec Sa Pilipinas


Ang Mga Pecpec Sa Pilipinas

Sa mga perverts out there, kung gusto nyong makakita ng sangkatutak at sandamakmak na Pecpec —– just search them on Facebook…ang dami doon…

their last name is “Pecpec” — “vagina” in English hahaha

PipitBlog is now on Facebook


PipitBlog is now on Facebook

Let’s see how many nincompoops would DARE LIKE my page. ahahaha @_@ Just search for Pipit Blog

What’s on my mind?

♪ ♫ ♩ ♬ Making Melodies In My Heart. ♪ ♫ ♩ ♬ Thumbs up! Elbows up! Feet apart! Knees bent! Head bent! Tongue out! Turn around! eh eh eh eh eh eh eh ♪ ♫ ♩ ♬…CONGRATULATIONS!……..read more

Venus Raj: Suspect in Ms. Universe Backstage Sabotage?


Venus Raj: Suspect in Ms. Universe Backstage Sabotage?

Miss Australia Jesinta Campbell claims the Philippines’ Venus Raj “sabotaged” her costume! “There was a bit of sabotage backstage,” she told Australia’s Nova 91.9 radio station of her experience with the “national dress” she donned for the event. “When I went to put it on I found about six pins all pinned in the back of it, so when I put it on I scratched all the back of my back. I was like ‘Ooh! What’s that?'”

Campbell singles out those from Mexico, the Philippines, and Central and South America. “Winning is so important for those girls because they become queens in their country and are worshipped if they win — and it changes everything forever for them,” she told the Herald Sun. “But there were 82 other girls there and I can’t narrow it down, so it’s a mystery to me.”

Read the full article here!

The Ronald McDonald Scandal


The Ronald McDonald Scandal

Believe it or not, Ronald McDonald does get some action from time to time. What with his flaming, thick mane and his luscious, red lips, the ladies just can’t seem to get enough of him.

Jealous much, guys? hahaha…

It might come as a shock to you, but some people do exhibit these kinds of behavior towards inanimate objects in a not so shallow way as to be funny or playful. What does that mean? It means that they have “intimate relationships” with inanimate objects. By “intimate” I mean love and sex — yes, love and sex. Just like the kind of emotional connection shared by two human beings, objectum sexuals (that’s what those people are called) experience a deep sense of love and/or sexual attraction towards objects. By “objects” I mean…

fences…

amusement park rides (the Condor in Enchanted Kingdom, for example)…

dolls…

cars…

walls (e.g. the Berlin Wall)…

and structures (e.g. the Eiffel Tower), just to name a few.

For OS people, close emotional relationships with humans are incomprehensible, if not absurd.  In other words, they think it’s perfectly normal to prefer objects over humans. Talk about strange, right? This kind of disorder is called objectophilia or objectum sexuality. Although, I assume that they would feel slighted by being labeled as a “disorder.” And they absolutely believe that their fixation towards objects is not just a mere fetish.

So you might think “Hey, I’m having sexual relationships with my dildo. Does that count as objectophilia?” Well, not necessarily. You see, objectum sexuals believe that the intimacy goes beyond physical attraction. They love a certain object to the extent that they want it as their mate and eventually take the relationship to the next level — marriage, perhaps. Yep, just like any normal human couple would do once they decide to be exclusive for the time being or for the rest of their lives. That kind bond, love, loyalty and sexual intimacy happens to objectum sexuals as well. The only difference is that the object of their affection is an object — obviously. So when you say “you’re having sex with your dildo,” that’s just a passing thrill, a momentary fulfillment of your sexual cravings. Objectum sexuals feel much more than that. Allow me to show you.

Objectum sexuals make homosexuals, transsexuals, pansexuals, and Bebe Gandanghari look like normal folks, don’t you think?

nyahahahahahaha…

So if you feel called to this new type of sexual orientation, by all means explore it. Visit http://www.objectum-sexuality.org for more information or you can also go to http://www.ppa.ph.

Interview With The Author of PipitBlog


Interview With The Author of PipitBlog

Me: Thank you for agreeing to do this interview. But first of all, Happy New Year to you!

PipitBlog: Happy New Year to you too! And no, thank you! I’ve always wanted to do something like this to sort of clear the air regarding the issues people have raised on my blog.

Me: I understand you have taken a lot of heat with your articles. Why do you think that is?

PipitBlog: Well, I think that some people find me infuriating because of how I express my opinions. They think that just because I write unabashedly, they feel that they already know half the shit about me (who I am and what I am).

Me: But do you think they are wrong about their perception of who you are and what you are?

PipitBlog: To say that they are wrong will be equivalent to a lie, don’t you agree?

Me: So, you mean they are right about their perception of you?

PipitBlog: Well, what exactly do people think about me?

Me: I don’t think I’m in the right position to tell you what other people think about you.

PipitBlog: I’m sure you’ve read some of the comments. Go on. Tell me what you’ve read.

Me: Okay, if you insist. For one, they’re saying that you are an uneducated lout.

PipitBlog: Well, do you think I’m uneducated?

Me: On the contrary, I think you are as smart as any educated person out there.

PipitBlog: Exactly! So why do people think I’m uneducated?

Me: Maybe because you use words that are inappropriate?

PipitBlog: Words like what?

Me: You know what I mean.

PipitBlog: Those “dirty” Tagalog words?

Me: Exactly!

PipitBlog: [laughs] Well, they are part of the Tagalog vocabulary, aren’t they? So I don’t understand why people get irked when I use those terms. Try it. Kantot

Me: Uh…kantot.

PipitBlog: I can’t hear you.

Me: Kantot!

PipitBlog: There you go! Puke.

Me: Puke!

PipitBlog: Now, you’re on a roll! Betlog.

Me: Betlog!

PipitBlog: Suso.

Me: Suso!

PipitBlog: Titi.

Me: Titi!

PipitBlog: Bulbol.

Me: Bulbol!

PipitBlog: See? Isn’t it quite liberating when you actually say them out loud?!

Me: I guess so. Okay, people say that your blog is a complete waste of time and space on the servers of WP; that you are the worst blogger in the whole blogosphere; that you only write about nonsense. Thoughts?

PipitBlog: They said that, didn’t they? [laughs] Well, my question to them is if I write about serious topics, would they be able to give serious and intelligent comments? No, I don’t think so. I think they have the I.Q. of a five-year-old. So why do I need to vindicate the statements by writing something that is way above their level of comprehension?

Me: But why write about seemingly shallow topics and antagonize some people along the way? Is that your aim — to antagonize people?

PipitBlog: No, of course not! I don’t mean to antagonize people. It’s just that they want to antagonize me for expressing my opinion about their beloved idols. I mean, what do they want me to do? Kiss their asses and say “Marian is the best!” Or “Wapakman rocks!” We all know what happened to that movie. It was the biggest flop on the recently held Manila Film Festival! [laughs]

Me: So you mean, you write to make fun of them?

PipitBlog: That and I also want to “desensationalize” popular public opinion.

Me: A lot of folks are also curious about your gender. What are you exactly?

PipitBlog: What am I? [laughs] Isn’t it obvious? You’re looking at me, aren’t you? So feel free to tell them.

Me: I can see that you are a female.

PipitBlog: Okay, then — female it is!

Me: But why do you let people think that you are a man?

PipitBlog: Because I am.

Me: I’m confused. You’re a she-male?

PipitBlog: No, you silly goose! I am a lesbian.

Me: You are? Femme or Butch?

PipitBlog: Both, I guess. I don’t want to categorize my sexual orientation because then I’d be limiting my prospects. [laughs]. Well, come to think of it — I am gender-blind; a pansexual, if you will. Allow me to explain. I am attracted mostly to women, but I can go for men too. The gender doesn’t really matter.

Me: I’m confused.

PipitBlog: Well, so am I! [laughs] Welcome to the deviant world! [snorts]

Me: What do you do for a living?

PipitBlog: I am a freelancer of sorts. I’d rather not go into details. I will in the future though; once I close this deal that I’m currently working on.

Me: Do you have a name?

PipitBlog: Of course, I do! Who doesn’t? You are a little stupid, aren’t you?

Me: Ah, I guess. So what is your name?

PipitBlog: I only give it to people who I know would call it out with affection.

Me: So I guess, you want to keep it secret?

PipitBlog: Obviously! Do you know how many death threats and lawsuits I’ve received so far?

Me: How many?

PipitBlog: As many as the hair you have in your pubic region. [laughs]

Me: I see. That many huh?

PipitBlog: Yep!

Me: Okay, so how old are you?

PipitBlog: I’m 27.

Me: Some people say you are a graduate of U.P.?

PipitBlog: Yes, I am. Not too many people would like that especially the UP students; but hey, what can I do? I am.

Me: Some UP students have expressed their dissatisfaction with how you conducted yourself in this blog. How do you feel about that?

PipitBlog: Nothing, to tell you the truth. I respect their individuality, so I think it’s only fair that they at least recognize mine. Walang basagan ng trip! [laughs]

Me: What do you have against Marian Rivera, Manny Pacquiao, and the other people you have written about?

PipitBlog: I have nothing against them. I just don’t share the same opinion about them as their fans. It’s kind of like you like peanut butter; I like coco jam. You like Pepsi; I like Coke. You like Marian Rivera; I like Angel Locsin (but not necessarily — it’s just an analogy that I like to use once in a while). You can’t force someone to agree with you just because you happen to like this or that.

Me: What do you think about the Manny Pacquiao – Krista Ranillo scandal?

PipitBlog: All I can say is that the DNA matched.

Me: Have you seen the Maguindanao massacre video?

PipitBlog: Yes, it was not that gross. In fact, it was boring. And people are getting ripped off in Quiapo! Php 75 a pop! That’s a rip-off, if I have ever seen one!

Me: Do you have the torrent?

PipitBlog: Yes, I do. [laughs]

Me: You are enjoying a bit of popularity these days. How many visitors do you get a day?

PipitBlog: More or less 1,000 visitors a day.

Me: What’s the highest number of visitors you got in just one day?

PipitBlog: Last May 23, 2009, I got 101,568 visitors.

Me: Wow! Quite a feat, huh?

PipitBlog: Well, you can say that I guess.

Me: Speaking of visitors, are there still people asking you for links to the Hayden Kho Scandal?

PipitBlog: As a matter of fact, there are still people asking me for links.

Me: What do you think of Katrina Halili‘s comeback to the screen?

PipitBlog: Well, Katrina’s all-covered up these days. Good for her! But I have to admit, everytime she comes out dressed in a sexy outfit, the images of her in bed with Hayden comes back to my mind. There was one time on SOP where the antagonists of the Darna teleserye were introduced, the cameraman zoomed in on Katrina and the focus was brought from her head down to her toes. What’s up with that, you perverted cameraman?! How dense ca — [cross-talk]

Me: What was Katrina’s reaction? Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.

PipitBlog: No, that’s all right. Katrina’s face was like “Get that stupid camera off of me already!” She looked really uncomfortable.

Me: Who would you vote for President on May 2010?

PipitBlog: I’d likely vote for Manny Villar.

Me: Not Noynoy Aquino?

PipitBlog: Definitely not Noynoy. I mean, if his mom died a month from the actual election day, I’d wager he’ll win by landslide. I mean, it’s just me. I don’t know about any of you, but I’ll vote for Villar  — if I was able to register as a voter, that is. [laughs]

Me: So you’re not going to be able to vote?

PipitBlog: What’s the point, right?! I’m not a targeted voter anyway. The only thing these Presidentiables has managed to do so far in their expensive TV campaigns is alienate the rest of the voting population — only focusing on courting the poor (the masa, so to speak).

Nakaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng basura?
Nag-Pasko ka na ba sa gitna ng kalsada?
Yan ang tanong namin,
Tunay ka bang isa sa amin?
Tutulungan tayo para magka-trabaho?
At kanyang plano’y magka-bahay tayo?
Si Villar ang tunay na mahirap.
si Villar ang tunay na may malasakit.
Si Villar ang may kakayahan
At gumawa ng sariling pangalan.
Si Manny Villar ang magtatapos ng ating kahirapan.

I’m not poor. So again, what’s the point of voting?!

Me: So what can we expect from you this New Year?

PipitBlog: Don’t expect anything so that you won’t get disappointed. [wink…wink]

Me: Do you have any parting words to your visitors and fans?

PipitBlog: Don’t subscribe to my blog! [laughs]