Tag Archives: philippines

Bakit Ang Bobo Ng Mga Katulong?


Bakit Ang Bobo Ng Mga Katulong?

Rason ba na sila’y hindi nakapagtapos ng pag-aaral? Ano ang koneksyon ng edukasyon para gampanan ang mga simpleng gawing-bahay? O sadyang bobo lang talaga sila?
Rason ba ang language barrier ? Eh bakit pa sila lumuwas ng Maynila kung hindi nila kaya umintindi ng Tagalog? Mga bobo kasi!

Sa panahon ngayon, ang amo na ang kailangang makisama sa mga katulong; ang kailangang sumuyo para wag lang layasan. Lintik! Nahawa na rin ang mga amo sa kabobohan!

Vicky Belo: Entries For Vagina Machine-naming Contest


Vicky Belo: Entries For Vagina Machine-naming Contest

“Just got a new machine at belo medical group. It tightens Vajayjay and prevents trickling. It uses only magnets. Need a name for it help!” Belo posted on her Twitter.

People suggested:

V-Tight

Like A Virgin

Vagnet

Happy Tight

VATIGHTNA

Vagneto

SIKIPEX

V-Shut Bacani (sacrilegious, but melikes!)

GyneTight

tightenator

Magnetite

TightenKho (aylavet! hahaha)

VAGINA HALILI (to add more injury to insult)

Vagina Magdayao (dahil nag-lock ang vagina ni Shaina noong nagsesex sila ni John Lloyd…haha)

Pukiput

V-Fresh

Triple V Express

Hymen Kho

Keps for Keeps

Sikip Silip

The Revirginizer

Belopian Tube

Close Open Close Open

Makahiya Treatment

Pampasikeps

VIAGRIP

flower arrangement

Revirginizer

The doctor posted, “1st winner of 5 THOU Belo GCs is @airaaavi with her entry: V-Tight ! @belobeauty will get in touch with you. CONGRATULATIONS!”

Ang Mga Pecpec Sa Pilipinas


Ang Mga Pecpec Sa Pilipinas

Sa mga perverts out there, kung gusto nyong makakita ng sangkatutak at sandamakmak na Pecpec —– just search them on Facebook…ang dami doon…

their last name is “Pecpec” — “vagina” in English hahaha

Ondoy Typhoon Videos


Ondoy Typhoon Videos

Charley Boorman By Any Means II in the Philippines


Charley Boorman By Any Means II in the Philippines

Last March 18, 2009, Charley Boorman finally set off to begin his By Any Means II trip. This sequel was born out of the success of his overland adventures by mortorbike with Ewan McGregor in Long Way Round (2004) and Long Way Down (2007).

The By Any Means series (2008) featured Boorman completing the journey from Ireland to Sydney using 112 modes of transport and only travelling by plane when absolutely necessary.

This time around, Boorman, Claudio von Planta and the rest of their team are off to Japan via the Pacific Rim. They left Sydney with a bike convoy and was joined by hundreds of Aussie bikers for the first day of the trip that will see him riding for three weeks across Australia before taking a boat to Papua New Guinea and then onto Japan.

20 hours ago, Boorman tweeted:

“Am now in the Philippnens in Malaybalay on Mindanao. I love it hear have allways wanted to be hear. Was on a Jeepney and driving it. Mad!!!!”

about 20 hours ago from TwitterBerry

[forgive the typos…he’s just tired…give him a break, will yah!]

by_any_means_2_in_the_philippines

“Organic farmer Wilfredo near Davao breeds catfish in rice fields. They eat most vermin – no pesticides, truly sustainable, double harvest with rice+fish, brilliant!”

about 16 hours ago from TwitPic

[Si Manong nasa Twitter o! Brilliant ka daw! Astig!]


Blog Review: Filipino Cultured Blog


Blog Review: Filipino Cultured Blog

Filipino Cultured is an entertainment blog which is being managed and owned by a Spanish-slash-Filipino author.

Oh let me edit that. For the sake of being politically correct, the author is of mixed Malay and Spanish descent.

There! Happy now???

Moving on…

The blog is teeming with topics about various actors and actresses in the Philippines as well as Spanish celebrities and Filipinos with Spanish descent. On the surface, it seems like a typical Filipino “tsismis” blog…with reliable inside information about up-and-coming showbiz events. Like I said, typical.

Anyway, what I found interesting was the whole concept of “enlightenment” which was gummed all over the first articles written by the author. I discovered that the underlying aim of Filipino Cultured is not mainly to provide showbiz scoops but to pitch for a wider acceptance of our Spanish heritage. However, I’m going to stress that there is nothing wrong about that. In fact, what better way for us Filipinos to be educated about our history than to take lessons from a Spanish-Filipino ilustrado, right?

“Even though many Latin Americans and Filipinos have Spanish blood, they’re not identified as Spanish when they go to Spain, they identify with the country that’s close to their heart, the country they were born in.” -Filipino Cultured

With that said, I wonder: Does the author of Filipino Cultured blog identify herself* as Filipino or as Spanish? I mean, by the title of the blog and all, I would say this one is a dead giveaway. Why else would she name the blog Filipino Cultured if she does not or cannot embrace or relate with the Filipino culture, right? (*I only assumed that the author is a woman (perhaps even a gay man) because no sane, straight male would admit managing a celebrity gossip blog.)

Well, you can decide for yourselves. Below are some of the excerpts from Filipino Cultured blog.

——————————————————————————————————————————————-

“Filipino Cultured Blog brought to you straight from our hometown New York City, & L.A. POLITICA SOBRE PRIVACIDAD – Privacy Policy – Condiciones del Servicio – Derechos de Autor – Declaraciones Generales Advertising Information – Jobs – Información de la Empresa / Corporate Information(NYC? So that makes her American too? Tsk…tskI can only imagine what she puts on the “Nationality” field in the public records she fills up — NATIONALITY: American-slash-Spanish-Filipino??? The blog is so confused with its identity that it tries so hard to trace its bloodline right down to where her ancenstors first settled during the Paleolitic Age. Why don’t you add “Neanderthal”, while you’re at it huh?)

“Just because a Filipino speaks Spanish doesn’t mean that he/she’s not proud to be Filipino. If you consider all of the Filipinos you ever met in this world, sometimes some Filipinos who speak Spanish are even prouder to be Filipino than many Filipinos who don’t.” “I hate also when some Filipinos realized that I spoke Spanish, they’d say “Ah, Chabacano?” No, didn’t I just tell you when you asked where I was from that my family is from Manila (and has been for generations ever since our family history has been recorded), not from Zamboanga or Ermita and certainly not from Cavite, although those are beautiful places.” (Oh we’re so sorry Ms. High-and-Mighty for the mistake. it’s just that when Filipinos hear some of their fellowmen speak Spanish, we tend to think that they are actually “residing in the Philippines” and not some  arrogant jetsetter like you. Also, Chavacano is a well-known dialect here in the Philippines. How many other Spanish-infested dialects  spoken in the Philippines do you know? Right, one. So of course, most Filipinos would initially think that you are pertaining to Chavacano and not Spanish-Spanish. And one more thing, you are not in Spain, you are in Manila and people don’t give a flying fuck if you speak Castilian or whatever it is the hell that you speak. You can be a polyglot conversant in 10 different languages and it wouldn’t matter one single bit because HERE, we speak Tagalog.)

“Marian Rivera was born in Madrid, Spain. Her father is Spanish, and the interview with Jessica Soho said that she knows how to speak Spanish, but the way she spoke it in the interview with the incorrect and unmatching masculine noun/feminine adjective “esto es chica” instead of “esto es chico” and “un poquito problemo” instead of “un poquito problema”, anybody can tell that Marian Rivera doesn’t really speak Spanish, she actually speaks Chabacano, creole Spanish, which is logical since she grew up in Cavite, where her mom’s family is from. (Spanish….Creole Spanish…who cares?)

“I was made aware of the news that GMA was interested on returning Spanish as an official language on that day that it actually happened actually, and I added it to Wikipedia and people began wondering if it was true. Well it is true, and I’m very happy with it…I’ve seen a lot of debates on the internet about this issue, although for some reason, it had not yet penetrated the news media or television in the Philippines. Many people were strongly opposed because they believed it would be un-nationalistic, but that’s ridiculous considering that Spanish is the language of our Filipino ancestors (and my grandparents,and aunts and uncles), the language of the Ilustrados that started the revolution, and the language that built the country. It shouldn’t have anything to do with nationalism, it has to do with the power of language, and how language helps a country’s economy. In the call center business alone, knowing how to speak Spanish automatically earns you a promotion. I just hope that the Philippines pushes forward with this, and no uneducated misguided nationalists do something else that will further push the economy of the Philippines further downward by opposing to one of the smartest political, business, tourism, cultural, and economic opportunities that Philippines has ever had in a long time – taking advantage of OUR Spanish language to improve the Philippine economy.”

“Should Spanish be reinstated as an official language in the Philippines?” – Filipino Cultured

(Now, what Filipino in his or her right mind would ask such an insulting question? Spanish was the original official language of our country for more than three centuries. I say, 300 friggin’ years is more than enough, would you agree? I mean, there are already thousands of loaned  Spanish words in various Philippine languages and most colleges also offer Spanish language courses as an elective. So what’s the point in making it official again?

Making Spanish as our official language again is one thing but assuming that it can help the economy of the Philippines, well, that is quite vainglorious if not doltish. Filipinos should learn to speak Spanish because it’ll pave the way for a lot of job openings for Spanish-speaking agents in the call center industry? Why thank you very much! That definitely raised our hopes up about our future careers! Perhaps we can also be servants for Spanish employers abroad? And why not throw in some more of those Spanish-speaking caregivers to complete the stereotype.)

“I can speak and understand Spanish, and I can understand Tagalog, but I can’t speak it that well…” – Filipino Cultured

(So much talk about the lack of concern from Filipinos to embrace their Spanish roots but this author can’t even speak Tagalog well?! That betrays the author’s claim for national pride and heritage, doesn’t it? Verguenza tamien boh! Parar engrandice na quirre boh queda Filipino! Yes, I can speak Chavacano and I can speak and understand Castilian. I can also speak Tagalog and English. All these languages…I can speak fluently. That’s me telling you to embrace your Filipino roots…I mean…your mixed Malay heritage! SELL OUT!!!)

The Quick Brown Dick Jumps Over The Lazy Cunt


The Quick Brown Dick Jumps Over The Lazy Cunt

condom

Somewhere in the squatters’ areas, inside one of the tiny, rickety houses, our long-time laundrywoman, Elsa, has just given birth to a bouncing little baby boy. Married for almost 15 years now to Mando, a construction worker with no permanent employment, together they ogle at the new family member. The infant happens to be their 12th child.  Horny much???

How dirt poor couples can afford to procreate amazes me to the point of nausea. It’s not as if they are aiming to produce quality offsprings! Noooo! They just breed mindlessly and consequently spawning more parasites into our society.

It’s not as if they can hope for their children to elevate their poverty-stricken condition to a less abominable, middle-class lifestyle in the future when they can barely send them to school, let alone feed them properly!

How women can endure getting pregnant the 12th time is gross. How droopy and warped their vaginas must be after the 12th pregnancy? Well, your guess is as good as mine.

I guess it’s way too late now for condoms, isn’t it? After all, these women are too lazy to even say NO to their husbands’ virility. So what’s the point, right? They’re beyond rescue.

Watching T.V. is the most disgusting of all. Poor families will appear with a long list of complaints about the steep prices of basic commodities, unfair hospital policies, high medical bills, high tuition, unemployment, housing, etc…etc… Then you’ll hear them appealling to kind-hearted fellowmen for help.

NEWSFLASH…most of us suffer from the same problems you’re grieving about. So why should you be helped? If you had the sense not to breed like rats, then there’ll be less problems to think about. And the rest of us won’t have to suffer staring at the grimy, malnourished, ugly organisms you have brilliantly spawned.