Death by Ingrown Toenail Infection

Funny that I should fret about a tiny ingrown toenail. It’s not as if this will cause my own demise. Nah! I just have a little swelling around the nail grooves of my right foot’s thumb toe, that’s all. I must’ve been cleaning it so hard yesterday. A girl does need to have neatly pedicured feet so… It’s just probably a slight sore, no worries there.

I am not freaking out. Nah! The pain is still bearable, if you must know. I just feel a little bit queasy because the last time I checked, there seems to be a puslike liquid that has dried up around the skin.

So endeavoring to remove the cause of my discomfort, I took out my pedicure tools again this morning and vowed to pull out the nasty ingrown toenail. I know it’s an ingrown nail because it is quite hard. I was digging it out relentlessly but to no avail so I know it’s not just dead skin. You see, dead skin is relatively easier to pull out than an ingrown nail which grows, curves downward and cuts into the skin . However, I am not one to back out from a minor obstacle. I had an important mission — this ingrown nail must go!!!

Then all of a sudden, it snapped…

It snapped just right where I can no longer poke my pusher deeper inside the grooves and short enough for my nipper to nip it at its stubborn root. Feeling defeated by a stupid ingrown toenail, I decided I’ll just let nature take care of itself. Allow it to grow bigger if it must.

Should I die of ingrown toenail infection ere long, let this be my final testament. “I did not let you win, my friend. I’m simply taking you with me…because if I die, you’ll die as well, together with all the bacteria, the fungi and the gangrene that you wanted to inflict upon me. See you all in hell!”

The Quick Brown Dick Jumps Over The Lazy Cunt

Somewhere in the squatters’ areas, inside one of the tiny, rickety houses, our long-time laundrywoman, Elsa, has just given birth to a bouncing little baby boy. Married for almost 15 years now to Mando, a construction worker with no permanent employment, together they ogle at the new family member. The infant happens to be their 12th child.  Horny much???

How dirt poor couples can afford to procreate amazes me to the point of nausea. It’s not as if they are aiming to produce quality offsprings! Noooo! They just breed mindlessly and consequently spawning more parasites into our society.

It’s not as if they can hope for their children to elevate their poverty-stricken condition to a less abominable, middle-class lifestyle in the future when they can barely send them to school, let alone feed them properly!

How women can endure getting pregnant the 12th time is gross. How droopy and warped their vaginas must be after the 12th pregnancy? Well, your guess is as good as mine.

I guess it’s way too late now for condoms, isn’t it? After all, these women are too lazy to even say NO to their husbands’ virility. So what’s the point, right? They’re beyond rescue.

Watching T.V. is the most disgusting of all. Poor families will appear with a long list of complaints about the steep prices of basic commodities, unfair hospital policies, high medical bills, high tuition, unemployment, housing, etc…etc… Then you’ll hear them appealling to kind-hearted fellowmen for help.

NEWSFLASH…most of us suffer from the same problems you’re grieving about. So why should you be helped? If you had the sense not to breed like rats, then there’ll be less problems to think about. And the rest of us won’t have to suffer staring at the grimy, malnourished, ugly organisms you have brilliantly spawned.

Poker Home Tournaments

I am well aware of the fact that some Filipinos do love to gamble. Some even gamble under the tents posted outside the house of a newly deceased person. Yes, some of us have a weird way of honoring the dead, don’t we? And whilst a seemingly harmless game of cards can be a good way to keep one’s self awake, it can also be downright risky. For one, gambling is strictly regulated by PAGCOR and two, any gambling tournaments or activities that are to be organized must obtain a license before pursuing operation. Hence, any illegally organized gambling channel is…well,… illegal.

PAGCOR (Philippine Amusement and Gaming Corporation), the regulator of all games of chance in the Philippines is a governement-owned corporation which prides itself in its second largest contribution to the government’s revenues. And you know what happens when you rip the governement off its income? You’ll receive death threats. You’ll go to jail. And worse, you’ll be expunged from the face of the earth and in local terms “masa-salvage ka”. But I’m digressing, I know. Going back to PAGCOR, among the games under its compass are baccarat, blackjack, super 6, pontoon, craps, roulette, pai gow, slots and yes, poker as well.

Have you watched “Boiler Room”? No, I don’t have ADHD!!! Trust me, my question is completely relevant. So have you watched the movie or not? Well, the organizer of this home poker tournaments somehow reminds me of Giovanni Ribisi.

I saw this ad posted on a bulletin board in Grill Queen Maginhawa St. Teachers Village, Diliman, Quezon City.

This is the URL http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/hometournamentpoker/. They also require Php 100 peso buy ins and Php 50 for rebuys. You may also bring a friend to these poker tournaments.

Jonas is the ringleader of these poker tournaments. He is also an independent Insurance Consultant. If his clients find out about his illegal activities, I wonder if they’ll ask for a refund. How this insurance consultant can manage lecturing people about FUTURES and RISKS, completely baffles me. He gives them a poker face, I bet [pun intended].

Playing a friendly game of poker at the comfort of one’s home is one thing. But “advertising” and “operating” weekly poker tournaments and “doing business as” V. Luna Poker Team without a license is another. The latter constitutes a crime.

Feel free to visit (or raid) VLPT’s venue at 92 V. Luna rd., Sikatuna Village, Quezon City.