Interview With The Author of PipitBlog

Me: Thank you for agreeing to do this interview. But first of all, Happy New Year to you!

PipitBlog: Happy New Year to you too! And no, thank you! I’ve always wanted to do something like this to sort of clear the air regarding the issues people have raised on my blog.

Me: I understand you have taken a lot of heat with your articles. Why do you think that is?

PipitBlog: Well, I think that some people find me infuriating because of how I express my opinions. They think that just because I write unabashedly, they feel that they already know half the shit about me (who I am and what I am).

Me: But do you think they are wrong about their perception of who you are and what you are?

PipitBlog: To say that they are wrong will be equivalent to a lie, don’t you agree?

Me: So, you mean they are right about their perception of you?

PipitBlog: Well, what exactly do people think about me?

Me: I don’t think I’m in the right position to tell you what other people think about you.

PipitBlog: I’m sure you’ve read some of the comments. Go on. Tell me what you’ve read.

Me: Okay, if you insist. For one, they’re saying that you are an uneducated lout.

PipitBlog: Well, do you think I’m uneducated?

Me: On the contrary, I think you are as smart as any educated person out there.

PipitBlog: Exactly! So why do people think I’m uneducated?

Me: Maybe because you use words that are inappropriate?

PipitBlog: Words like what?

Me: You know what I mean.

PipitBlog: Those “dirty” Tagalog words?

Me: Exactly!

PipitBlog: [laughs] Well, they are part of the Tagalog vocabulary, aren’t they? So I don’t understand why people get irked when I use those terms. Try it. Kantot…

Me: Uh…kantot.

PipitBlog: I can’t hear you.

Me: Kantot!

PipitBlog: There you go! Puke.

Me: Puke!

PipitBlog: Now, you’re on a roll! Betlog.

Me: Betlog!

PipitBlog: Suso.

Me: Suso!

PipitBlog: Titi.

Me: Titi!

PipitBlog: Bulbol.

Me: Bulbol!

PipitBlog: See? Isn’t it quite liberating when you actually say them out loud?!

Me: I guess so. Okay, people say that your blog is a complete waste of time and space on the servers of WP; that you are the worst blogger in the whole blogosphere; that you only write about nonsense. Thoughts?

PipitBlog: They said that, didn’t they? [laughs] Well, my question to them is if I write about serious topics, would they be able to give serious and intelligent comments? No, I don’t think so. I think they have the I.Q. of a five-year-old. So why do I need to vindicate the statements by writing something that is way above their level of comprehension?

Me: But why write about seemingly shallow topics and antagonize some people along the way? Is that your aim — to antagonize people?

PipitBlog: No, of course not! I don’t mean to antagonize people. It’s just that they want to antagonize me for expressing my opinion about their beloved idols. I mean, what do they want me to do? Kiss their asses and say “Marian is the best!” Or “Wapakman rocks!” We all know what happened to that movie. It was the biggest flop on the recently held Manila Film Festival! [laughs]

Me: So you mean, you write to make fun of them?

PipitBlog: That and I also want to “desensationalize” popular public opinion.

Me: A lot of folks are also curious about your gender. What are you exactly?

PipitBlog: What am I? [laughs] Isn’t it obvious? You’re looking at me, aren’t you? So feel free to tell them.

Me: I can see that you are a female.

PipitBlog: Okay, then — female it is!

Me: But why do you let people think that you are a man?

PipitBlog: Because I am.

Me: I’m confused. You’re a she-male?

PipitBlog: No, you silly goose! I am a lesbian.

Me: You are? Femme or Butch?

PipitBlog: Both, I guess. I don’t want to categorize my sexual orientation because then I’d be limiting my prospects. [laughs]. Well, come to think of it — I am gender-blind; a pansexual, if you will. Allow me to explain. I am attracted mostly to women, but I can go for men too. The gender doesn’t really matter.

Me: I’m confused.

PipitBlog: Well, so am I! [laughs] Welcome to the deviant world! [snorts]

Me: What do you do for a living?

PipitBlog: I am a freelancer of sorts. I’d rather not go into details. I will in the future though; once I close this deal that I’m currently working on.

Me: Do you have a name?

PipitBlog: Of course, I do! Who doesn’t? You are a little stupid, aren’t you?

Me: Ah, I guess. So what is your name?

PipitBlog: I only give it to people who I know would call it out with affection.

Me: So I guess, you want to keep it secret?

PipitBlog: Obviously! Do you know how many death threats and lawsuits I’ve received so far?

Me: How many?

PipitBlog: As many as the hair you have in your pubic region. [laughs]

Me: I see. That many huh?

PipitBlog: Yep!

Me: Okay, so how old are you?

PipitBlog: I’m 27.

Me: Some people say you are a graduate of U.P.?

PipitBlog: Yes, I am. Not too many people would like that especially the UP students; but hey, what can I do? I am.

Me: Some UP students have expressed their dissatisfaction with how you conducted yourself in this blog. How do you feel about that?

PipitBlog: Nothing, to tell you the truth. I respect their individuality, so I think it’s only fair that they at least recognize mine. Walang basagan ng trip! [laughs]

Me: What do you have against Marian Rivera, Manny Pacquiao, and the other people you have written about?

PipitBlog: I have nothing against them. I just don’t share the same opinion about them as their fans. It’s kind of like you like peanut butter; I like coco jam. You like Pepsi; I like Coke. You like Marian Rivera; I like Angel Locsin (but not necessarily — it’s just an analogy that I like to use once in a while). You can’t force someone to agree with you just because you happen to like this or that.

Me: What do you think about the Manny Pacquiao – Krista Ranillo scandal?

PipitBlog: All I can say is that the DNA matched.

Me: Have you seen the Maguindanao massacre video?

PipitBlog: Yes, it was not that gross. In fact, it was boring. And people are getting ripped off in Quiapo! Php 75 a pop! That’s a rip-off, if I have ever seen one!

Me: Do you have the torrent?

PipitBlog: Yes, I do. [laughs]

Me: You are enjoying a bit of popularity these days. How many visitors do you get a day?

PipitBlog: More or less 1,000 visitors a day.

Me: What’s the highest number of visitors you got in just one day?

PipitBlog: Last May 23, 2009, I got 101,568 visitors.

Me: Wow! Quite a feat, huh?

PipitBlog: Well, you can say that I guess.

Me: Speaking of visitors, are there still people asking you for links to the Hayden Kho Scandal?

PipitBlog: As a matter of fact, there are still people asking me for links.

Me: What do you think of Katrina Halili‘s comeback to the screen?

PipitBlog: Well, Katrina’s all-covered up these days. Good for her! But I have to admit, everytime she comes out dressed in a sexy outfit, the images of her in bed with Hayden comes back to my mind. There was one time on SOP where the antagonists of the Darna teleserye were introduced, the cameraman zoomed in on Katrina and the focus was brought from her head down to her toes. What’s up with that, you perverted cameraman?! How dense ca — [cross-talk]

Me: What was Katrina’s reaction? Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.

PipitBlog: No, that’s all right. Katrina’s face was like “Get that stupid camera off of me already!” She looked really uncomfortable.

Me: Who would you vote for President on May 2010?

PipitBlog: I’d likely vote for Manny Villar.

Me: Not Noynoy Aquino?

PipitBlog: Definitely not Noynoy. I mean, if his mom died a month from the actual election day, I’d wager he’ll win by landslide. I mean, it’s just me. I don’t know about any of you, but I’ll vote for Villar  — if I was able to register as a voter, that is. [laughs]

Me: So you’re not going to be able to vote?

PipitBlog: What’s the point, right?! I’m not a targeted voter anyway. The only thing these Presidentiables has managed to do so far in their expensive TV campaigns is alienate the rest of the voting population — only focusing on courting the poor (the masa, so to speak).

Nakaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng basura?
Nag-Pasko ka na ba sa gitna ng kalsada?
Yan ang tanong namin,
Tunay ka bang isa sa amin?
Tutulungan tayo para magka-trabaho?
At kanyang plano’y magka-bahay tayo?
Si Villar ang tunay na mahirap.
si Villar ang tunay na may malasakit.
Si Villar ang may kakayahan
At gumawa ng sariling pangalan.
Si Manny Villar ang magtatapos ng ating kahirapan.

I’m not poor. So again, what’s the point of voting?!

Me: So what can we expect from you this New Year?

PipitBlog: Don’t expect anything so that you won’t get disappointed. [wink…wink]

Me: Do you have any parting words to your visitors and fans?

PipitBlog: Don’t subscribe to my blog! [laughs]